So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize