I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Buhtt sex?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
