Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
