i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
