i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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