I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
