Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
whose ass print is on the piano?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
