so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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