we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
