I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Houston, we have a blender
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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