office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
