Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize