This is not my ceiling
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Four minutes until I can fart!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
