i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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