Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
