Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
