so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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