hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
