shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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