So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fuck appropriateness.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
