GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
