I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
