I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
