Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
