are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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