New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He did a backflip because drugs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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