Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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