Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
