Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
