im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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