just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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