i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
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