I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
