Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
