I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
