the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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