eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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