I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
