hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
how drunk are you?
Several
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
