i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
