im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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