i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
