Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
