My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
