some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
