if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
pray to the hookup gods
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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