ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
