This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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