im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
