i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
