Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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