Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
