no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
