Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
