I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
