I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Rumble strips road head = magical
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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