areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Everclear isn't food dammit
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
