lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
