New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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