if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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