I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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