I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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